you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
