I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
