was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
