shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
