I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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