I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
