party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
