I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
