Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
