I look better un-naked...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
