youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
ttyl tear gas
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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