Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
