this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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