now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
