I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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