I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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