i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
