Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
