Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i drank out of a bidet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
