it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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