My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
