dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
