You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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