I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I think i got beer on your cat.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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