party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
