how can u be prego again
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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