she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize