I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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