is your mom at the bar?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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