we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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