ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
