Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
