3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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