Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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