i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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