Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
did i just pee glitter
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
