btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
