The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
