Do vagina's smell?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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