The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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