haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
