it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
