Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
