the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize