You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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