the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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