I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
