Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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