Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have fence marks all over my body
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
