It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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