I'm jealous of your bromance
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
