My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
