I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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