Just fell off a train. Bad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize