she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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