Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
