the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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