I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
