So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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