At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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